No 185 Posted by fw, June 2, 2011
Two thumbs way up to the ONION, a Chicago-based entertainment newspaper and website, featuring satirical articles reporting on international, national, and local news, for its deadly biting piece yesterday, Planet Earth Doesn’t Know How To Make It Any Clearer It Wants Everyone To Leave.
The story is cleverly presented as a media report of a news release from Planet Earth to its human inhabitants. Earth refers to the countless times and ways she has tried to warn humanity of the potentially devastating consequences of climate change — all to no avail. In frustrated exasperation Earth laments:
“. . . people simply went on with their lives, occasionally making reference to disaster victims in their thoughts and prayers but showing no intention whatsoever of preparing themselves for a long trip through the far reaches of space to find a new home.”
“The Earth’s statement to all of humanity read in part. ‘I haven’t exactly been subtle about it, you realize. I have literally tried to drown you, crush you, starve you, dehydrate you, pump you full of diseases, and suck your homes and families into swirling vortices of death. Honestly, what more is it going to take for you people to get the message? Do I have to spell it out for you?’ the statement continued. ‘Get the fuck out of here. I want you to leave now.’ “
In response to humanity’s callous indifference, the report reminds readers that Earth ignited a series of wildfires throughout the world, which prompted Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-OK) to deliver this disdainful rebuff:
“What we’re seeing here is the same old scientific mumbo jumbo and partisan rhetoric that the Earth has been spewing out for millennia. We’re not going to be bullied by a celestial body that has time and again failed to deliver on its promise to glorify and reward mankind with its bounty.”
To find out how Mother Earth defended herself in response to Inhofe’s arrogant snub, read the Onion’s full article by clicking on the linked title above.
Inhofe Takes on Global Warming Alarmist Attempted Ambush: For those who have had not had the opportunity to see Sen. Inhofe in action, here is a video uploaded by the Jim Inhofe Press Office on Feb 15, 2011. Apparently, the press office was convinced that the Senator had masterfully deflected the ambush. He certainly impressed 4 of his ardent supporters — read their comments pasted below the video.
Four Pro-Inhoff Viewers’ Comments